Lonely or helpless?

Feeling alone without actually being alone is an emotion I'm sure a lot of us have felt at some point in our life. You could be standing in a crowd of people, or even with the person you feel the most comfortable with and still feel like no one really understand's what you're going through. It becomes even harder when a lot of the time you can't come to grips with what is making you upset or angry- for someone to understand what is going on in your head, you need to understand it yourself and when you don't it can make the people around you feel helpless, and can make you feel silly in return- but don't worry, whether you are the one feeling silly, or the one feeling helpless - I want to help you all.. so please read on!

When you feel like no body understands what you're going through, or how you are feeling it can make you want too wrap yourself up into one big ball and hide from the world. Knowing from on going experience you distance yourself or push away everyone that wants to give you a hug or a hand, and at the end of the day you will only take it when you feel its right. Coming to terms with the on going pressures, confusions and different pathways life can take, it can all feel like a huge burden that you don't know how to fix.

What a lot of us forget is that each person goes through it, some people can adapt to change and can deal with the struggles of day to day life a lot better then others- or they just appear to. Watching other people seem like their life is fine and dandy can make you question why you are feeling so down, but we have to remember that what's happening won't fix themselves!

We have to be proactive, whether you are feeling the pressure of school, work or just figuring out what to do with yourself- take these steps to make everything feel like a lighter load!

1. Put all of your options/assignments/work out on the table - and put them in order of what should be done first to last (everything seems like such a truck load when you are looking at everything that you have to do, putting it in smaller tasks will make it easier for your mind to get around)
2. Try and make doing your set tasks a joyful part of your day. Find a spot you feel comfortable in, whether its in your bedroom with some candles on, or by the beach. Set up the tasks or as you thought of them before "chores" and link it up with something you love to do- it will make it a little bit more enjoyable.

You have to want to fix yourself, otherwise no one else can help you. Feeling alone is an awful feeling.. so here are some ways to feel great !

 

1. Don't exclude yourself, everyone doesn't hate you- its just that brain telling you that!
2. Don't trap yourself in your house, whether you go down to the shops and do Mum's shopping or go for a coffee with your bestie - it will make you feel better
3. Exercise!!!!!!!! I can't say this enough, it releases endorphins in your brain that make you HAPPY 
4. Listen to happy music - we all know sitting around listening to sad music puts us in an even worse mood ... Or listen to this - it coincidently actually makes me happy every time I listen to it

Now if you are trying to help someone that hasn't quite been themselves lately, you have to remember to not take anything personally! If you've just been joking around with them and they get more angry then they usually would - I'm almost 100% sure its not your fault, you just seemed to be the person to cop every inch of anger or sadness that has been building up for a while. In a funny sort of weird way, its a good thing. Think of it as, this person trusts you enough to know that you won't be going anywhere after their crazy outburst!

Soooo.. what do you do if a person you love dearly hasn't quite been their self?

1. Be PATIENT, as hard as it may sound you're going to be knocked down a few times .. meaning no matter how many times you ask what's wrong - they won't tell you until they're ready.
2. When they do open up - even if it sounds a bit out of this world, please please please try to UNDERSTAND. There's nothing worse then opening up to someone and then they look at you like this



   3. Give them a big big HUG, everyone loves hugs.
   4. Take them out, be with them, don't let them dwell in their thoughts to much.
   5. And finally, just be there for them, remind them how much you love them & appreciate them.

To wrap this all up please remember that its okay to be confused, but don't let it sit up their in your brain and consume who you are. You are amazing, and you can do whatever you put your mind too.

Love always, Kiara xx